Yearning for a grateful heart...

I want all the feels...

The beginning of the first snow

We call today Thanksgiving. Leaving aside what this day means in the culture, and how it came to be, let’s think about the word: Thanksgiving. It’s a noun. And yet, the act is a verb, has to be a verb, or it’s nothing. Gratitude is a conscious feeling. It admits to goodness. I would say it’s almost an erotic feeling. Not sexual, just open and receptive in the loins as well as the heart.

I’m not very good at it. Gratitude is a can of worms. The minute you admit to goodness, to being affected by goodness, to being thankful for all the goodness in your life, suddenly you are in a relationship with goodness, and this relationship is a two-way street. It gives and it asks—for trust, connection, love, maybe even for discomfort and difficulty in its service.

I want to practice feeling gratitude. I have faith that with practice I will get better at it. I want to feel gratitude because it brings me closer to the heart of my life.

Why not admit to goodness, even in the midst of so much that is harsh, sad, unhelpful and deluded? What we experience as harsh, sad, unhelpful and deluded is the absence of goodness. The absence of recognition of goodness. The absence of gratitude. Gratitude is protection against being a jerk, and worse.

Here’s to open hearts. Love to you on this day of giving thanks.

The invincible shield
Of caring
Is a weapon from the sky
Against being dead.

Lao-Tzu, translated by Witter Bynner